35 Sentences
by Shadow Silver Fang
Summary: 35 Sentences, using the Rules as prompts. Warning: Contains some SLASH. M/M. Do not read if you do not like. Columbus/Tallahassee, Wichita, Little Rock.


1. **Cardio-**

It wasn't until he saw the kid high-tail it to safety from a zombie(that appeared out of fucking nowhere), that Tallahassee was glad for Columbus's million and a half OCD rules.

2. **The Double Tap**-

Filled with more rage, sorrow, and emptiness than he ever had been, Tallahassee beat the head of a zombie to a pulp, trying desperately to forget the look of fear on his boy's face as his throat closed up and his lungs screamed for air.

3. **Beware of Bathrooms**-

Columbus slammed the door closed in time to block the shoe a half-dressed Little Rock flung at him in outrage, screaming an apology to her and fleeing the area.

4. **Seat Belt **-  
"Damn it!" Tallahassee cursed, firmly ignoring the sniggers of amusement from the hummers other occupants as he struggled to unbuckle his seat belt.

5. **Always Carry a Change of Underwear**-

Columbus awoke panting, his heart racing, and a familiar stickiness coating the inside of his boxers; he tried not to wake the man beside him as he dug around in his bag for a clean pair.

6. **The Skillet**-

He'd seen 'em used to kill a zombie, to break windows, and even to hold potted plants, but not since long before the outbreak had Tallahassee seen a skillet so skillfully used as when Columbus prepared an omelet.

7. **Travel Light** -

After the hummer ran out of gas in the shit-fuck middle of nowhere, Tallahassee only made it six miles before Little Rock convinced him to carry her.

8. **Get a Kickass Partner**-

Columbus grinned smugly at the looks of awe and fear being directed at himself and Tallahassee; that's right, bitches, we saved our girls _and_ killed your fucked up mutant dogs.

9. **Double Knot Your Shoelaces**-

Columbus tried to ignore the burning his cheeks when he tripped on his untied shoelaces and face planted on Tallahassee's crotch.

10. **It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint(unless it IS a sprint, then sprint)**-

_Holy shit_, was the only thing running through his mind as Columbus ran like hell from Tallahassee, having unknowingly sat on the last twinkie in the United States of Zombieland.

11. **Pack your Stain Stick**-

"Oh, goddammit!" Tallahassee yelled, staring down at the bright smear soaking into his clothes, "This is my favorite fucking shirt!"

12. **Bounty Paper Towels**-

Columbus watched through sated eyes as Tallahassee tore off a rectangle of paper towel and used it to clean the sweat, semen, and even spit, of their joining from various surfaces within the hummer that had become their home.

13. **Ziploc**-

Tallahassee tried, and failed, to drag his gaze away from the nimble fingers of his male companion forcing closed a Ziploc bag around their toothbrushes, his mouth going dry and the hummer feeling impossibly stuffy.

14. **Shoot First**-

"You're nothin' but a mess o' trouble," Tallahassee snarked, pulling Columbus into a weak, relieved hug; ignoring the corpses surrounding them, "Shoot first, check for a pulse later."

15. **Bowling Ball**-

Tallahassee howled, his eyes bright with destruction-induced euphoria, swinging the bowling ball around him like a windmill of carnage, making sure to keep Columbus pulled in close against his side and out of harm's way.

16. **Trust No-One**-

Wichita stared, aghast, at Little Rock, her hair clinging wetly to her face, her shirt soaked through; where had her little sister even gotten water balloons?

17. **Don't be a Hero**-

Little Rock squealed, erupting into an uncontrollable fit of giggles as her sister pinned her to the floor of their cleared out hotel room and tickled her mercilessly; Columbus sipped from his water and feigned ignorance.

18. **Limber Up**-

Tallahassee would never admit to anyone how much he enjoyed watching rule #18; the way that Columbus's shirt rode up and showed a bit of his stomach off, and how his muscles bunched and rippled beneath a too-thin layer of skin.

19. **Shake it Off**-

Columbus took a page out of Tallahassee's book and, after having to dispatch a tiny child zombie, tore apart a store filled with fine china; he didn't leave a single dish intact.

20. **Show no Mercy**-

Columbus let out a loud, needy moan, writhing in unchecked want; Tallahassee grinned and continued his slow, torturous trail of nips and lips along the inside of the younger man's thigh.

21. **Avoid Strip Clubs**-

_Oh God, oh God_; she was chasing him, and she had tassels on her breasts, and she wasn't wearing anything to cover her _down there place_, and Columbus could just _hear_ Tallahassee howling with laughter somewhere behind him.

22. **When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out**-

Columbus backed slowly into the corner, his heart hammering in his chest, and his eyes darting to the door on the far side of the room; Tallahassee was advancing on him with fire in his eyes, and he wasn't sure what would happen to him, not until the older man crushed their lips together in a heated kiss.

23. **No Attachments**-

Tallahassee stared fondly at the sleeping faces of the girls and boy whom he'd come to travel with, his lips pulling into a smile that wasn't malicious or crazed; realizing that he'd grown to like all of them, and unable to be angry at himself for it, he cursed under his breath and pulled a blanket over Little Rock, keeping guard for the night while they slept.

24. **Better Safe than Sorry-**

"AID's?" Tallahassee asked an uncomfortable looking Columbus, a dumbfounded look on his face, "I'm going through the trouble of _seducing_ you, and you ask me if I've got venereal diseases?"

25. **Wash Your Hands**-

"Ewe, ewe, ewe, ewe, gross," Little Rock chanted, vigorously scraping her nails over her skin under the flow of hot water; tripping into the rotting entrails of a zombie was high on her list of things that should never, ever, ever be done, ever.

26. **Eat Breakfast**-

Columbus ground his teeth and pressed harder on the gas pedal; they'd run out of food two days prior and Tallahassee was a real _bitch_ when he got hungry.

27. **If they Talk, Talk; If They Don't Talk, Shoot**-

"Put your gun down!" Columbus yelled, leaping into the shotgun's range of fire and making Tallahassee growl, "She's not a zombie! That's sign language!"

28. **Antiseptic**-

"Stop being such a bitch," Tallahassee ordered, dabbing at Columbus' slice open hand with an alcohol soaked cotton swab, "It doesn't hurt that bad, and it'll be done with in a second."

29. **The Buddy System**-

"I call Columbus!" Little Rock grinned, grabbing his arm affectionately and dragging him off to check the second floor of the house for undead; Tallahassee snorted and ditched Wichita on the ground floor while he dug around in the basement.

30. **Captain Kirk**-

So, taking a note from Trek, Columbus "dropped" his gun, and when the attacking survivor dove for it he kicked the crazy asshole in the face as hard as he could.

31. **Check the Back Seat**-

Columbus climbed blearily into the car, letting out a surprised shriek of terror when he checked over his shoulder and discovered a badger in the back seat shooting him a killer snarl.

32. **Enjoy the Little Things-**

After settling in on an empty(save for the animals) farm in central California, Columbus found peace and small amounts of joy in tending to the chickens, the goats, and the cow, and fell in love with watching Tallahassee teach the girls horseback riding; learning it himself inspired radically different emotional responses.

33. **Swiss Army Knife**-

"Would you please stop using my toothpick to clean shit out of your gun?" Columbus asked, holding up the small plastic instrument that was coated with black gunk and giving Tallahassee what he hoped was a withering glare.

34. **Don't Shoot Bill Murray**-

"... and if we meet anyone famous, could you not shoot them this time?" Tallahassee asked, his voice deadpan; Columbus' lips twisted into a deep frown and he forced his finger away from the trigger of his double-barrel as they wandered further in what was once the Paramount lot.

35. **Nut Up or Shut Up**-

When he heard Little Rock say it for the first time, along with a look in his direction as if seeking approval, Tallahassee realized that he was a father again.


End file.
